Man sitting on a wall overlooking a city

Men, Why Aren’t You Reaching Your Goals?

Men are naturally ambitious — they strive to succeed in whatever they do. So, why are men today having such difficulty being successful in their pursuits? Men are struggling more and more to find success with women, work, and even their health. Increasing rates of divorce, under representation in colleges across the nation, and ever-increasing obesity rates all point to men struggling to succeed.

But, why?


A common idea floating around the main stream media is that men today are essentially lazy and lack ambition. Commentators write stories about “man droughts” all around the world. The idea is that these lazy, unaccomplished men create hardships for women – i.e. these men aren’t good enough to date or marry. According to the authors of these stories, men today aren't trying anymore.

Are men today really lazy? Do they actually lack ambition?

The short answer is no. Men today still work hard for success. They’re also as ambitions as ever. The real issue is that society gave men the wrong tools to achieve success. They did this by perpetuating myths. Essentially, society handed men hammers and asked to cut down trees. It’s no wonder so many fail, look like idiots doing it, then eventually quit trying.

If men today want to be successful, they need to reject bad societal indoctrination and learn from the men that are still able to achieve success in today’s world.

Effort and desire are not enough

As mentioned above, every man is born with ambition and driven towards success. It’s in their DNA. Consider the men that brought us mathematics, electricity, and powered flight, just to name a few innovations. Clearly, these men were focused on success. And, men today are just as ambitious - advances in CPU design, alternative energy technology, and artificial intelligence are but a few examples.  

It’s also a fairy tale to say that men today are lazy. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, employed men work 52 minutes more per day than their female counterparts on average. That doesn’t sound like laziness to me. This is also consistent with everything I've seen in my military and civilian careers. Men work as hard as required to accomplish the mission and earn the income they need. Men today are certainly not lazy.  

I think it’s safe to say that men today are still ambitious and willing to work hard. So why do men today struggle to find success? Why are so many men burning out from failure after failure, trying to do things the “right” way? Obviously, the issue isn't a lack of work ethic or a desire to succeed; the issue is that society gave modern men bad information their entire lives. In essence, they are playing a game where they don’t the rules. Almost every bit of advice society gives men benefits someone else (other players) and leads to an unfulfilled life.

Rethink what you think you know

There are a number of men out there still achieving great success in work, in relationships, and with their health. These men continually pushing things to the next level. Think for a moment about the successful men you know (or know of). What do these guys have in common? Most of them chose a different path. They don’t play by the rules. And, they don't do what's expected by society.

Now, consider all the men that do everything in life the way society told them to. Think about the guys that went to college, got married shortly after graduation, started their career working for someone else, and then placed everyone else’s needs above their own. This is, more or less, the approved way for a man to spend his life.

How successful is that guy? Is he healthy? How much time does he get to spend with his family? What about is his relationships? How much time does he spend on self-improvement?

The guy above isn't doing well. He's likely stagnated in his career, and with a woman that's no longer attracted to him. Likely, he's divorced, or in a loveless/sexless marriage. This guy is out of shape and stressed out. He feels like the game is rigged against him and there is no way to win. But, despite all this, there is a good chance that this guy continues to play the game.

He believes that he can turn things around by trying harder and giving more.

This is a fool’s game – trying harder, the same way you’ve been playing, will only lead to more failure. Men need to rethink what they think they know about almost everything.

Change your thoughts and change your outcomes

The key to success in today’s world is to reject the ideas that have been drilled into your head by those with questionable motives, and adopt new ways of viewing the world. This is exactly what successful men are doing. They are rejecting the status quo and doing what works. The knowledge to succeed in today’s world is out there.

Before the internet, men obtained knowledge in one of two ways. First, they learned it the hard way; through a lifetime of experience and trial and error. The problem with this approach is that it takes too long and the mistakes these men are prone to making have long-lasting negative consequences.

Think about the man that marries and fathers a child early in his life, and then divorces. Likely, this man loses custody of his children, pays his ex child support, and maybe even alimony to support the lifestyle she's accustomed to living. Talk to any of the millions of divorced men in America.

Chances are good that divorce was the most painful experiences in their life. This is not a good way to learn – the stakes are too high, and life is too short.

Using mentors

The other way men could learn was from mentors. In my own life, mentors were pivotal in achieving success at work, in school, in athletics, and even with women. Mentors can show you how to succeed because they already did what you want to do.

A mentor has achieved the success that you desire.

Why would you learn from anyone else? It's insane that men today rely on advice from unsuccessful people to make important life decisions. But, there is one big issue with learning from a mentor: they have finite time to help others. A successful man can only help so many people because his time is limited.

Enter the internet. Thanks to the world wide web, men are able to freely exchange information and ideas with other men like never before. There is a treasure trove of knowledge widely available for men to sift through. Much of the information comes from first-hand experience – experience from men that have achieved the success you desire. A single post on a forum can change the lives of millions of men.

Without the internet, it’s impossible for one man to effectively mentor more than a handful of men. The internet is a game-changer. It overcomes the only negative associated with learning from a mentor.


Success in every aspect of life is simpler than it appears to be. The difficulty is overcoming all the terrible advice society gives you as to how to live your life. Modern men are not lazy. They don’t lack ambition. But working harder, and playing the way you’ve been told to play the game, only leads to failure. It’s time to rethink what you think you know. If you change your thinking you can change your outcomes.

This website is here to help you do just that. 

Join The community dedicated to you and your success.

Always free - No strings attached

First Name
Last Name

Spread the word

Get Notified... 
Of New Blog Posts!

Sign up below to get started: